Dads and Doulas

What Dads Think About Doulas

 "We don’t like paying extra. We also know childbirth is very expensive." Too many fathers-to-be feel a doula just isn’t needed. It’s the equivalent of buying the warranty—and we never get the warranty. You want someone to come with us to the hospital on this special day? Someone crashing our private family moment? Someone telling us what to do? This is all too true as many husbands don’t want to pay for that lack of privacy and control.

We hired our doula early on and in addition to being experienced and knowledgeable about the childbirth process, she made us feel immediately at ease. I didn’t realize how much time we would actually spend together prior to delivery. I enjoyed taking time to get to know her, ask questions and learn more about what was ahead of us at our own pace.       Check out my post on what dads think about doulas and how they can support their partners' births to see more.
Dads Can Benefit from Hiring a Doula

Babywearing is one of my favorite ways to soothe newborns and new parents

 As a postpartum doula, I regularly hear brand new parents say, "Help!  My baby wants to be held ALL the time.  When I put her down she cries, but my arms and back are killing me.  I feel stuck!"

And when I respond with "Yes, you have the smartest baby ever!" they stare at me as though I have lost my mind.  But they understand when I go on to say, "Your baby was with you ALL the time for 9 to 10 months.  They heard every conversation, felt every emotion and experienced every adventure you encountered during your day.  If it was up to them, they wouldn't let that closeness go.  In their new and scary world of life outside the womb, they need that continuous attention more than ever."

Usually at this point the parents nod.  And respond in a barely audible whisper, "But how on earth can I give my baby that attention when I am no longer carrying them inside my body?  I have to do a few things for myself and my family each day."

Have heart, new parents.  There is a very simple answer to this dilemna: BABYWEARING.

This fancy word simply refers to the act of carrying your baby without using your arms.  You can use a sling, a wrap, a soft carrier with buckles and clips, a large sheet or any of the many baby carriers out there.  You can wear your baby anytime, anywhere.  You can wear your baby every so often or nearly every waking hour.  When you wear your baby, your baby gets the closeness they so desire and need and you get to parent hands-free.

Babywearing is good for babies and good for parents.

At this point in the conversation, I usually encounter at least one dubious parent, "But can it really be this good for everyone?  It sounds too good to be true."  And I usually respond with, "I know, doesn't it?  But trust me, it is one of the few parenting tools that really IS good for everyone.  It really is as good as it sounds."

And you don't have to take my word for it.  Research shows that carried babies cry up to 43% less.  And babies that cry less have time to learn and sleep more.  Parents with babies who cry less have more time to enjoy life with an infant.  Happier babies who cry less makes for happy families all around.

For more information on babywearing, come to one of my classes at Mountain Midwifery Center (see calendar).  Or let me come to you!  I do in-home consults.  Call me at 303.709.0712.

Heather Thompson, Ph.D., CPD, CLE
Beyond Birth, LLC
303.709.0712

“Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers ~ strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.”  -Barbara Katz Rothman

4 tips to help you prepare for natural childbirth

Many of the factors leading to a successful natural childbirth begin long before you go into labor.
Find a supportive location. If you desire a natural birth, consider giving birth where there is little opportunity to intervene.  When you choose a hospital birth, all the tools to disrupt a labor are right there. You want to be somewhere that you do not have to “fight” to have a natural, physiologic birth.  [phys·i·o·log·ic : Being in accord with or characteristic of the normal functioning of a living organism.]

• * If you do choose a hospital setting, look for hospitals with doula programs.
• * Ask about hospital policy on eating and drinking during labor.
• * Make sure to research the hospital’s cesarean, induction, and epidural rate.  If you are seeing high numbers, consider a different location.
• * If you are a healthy, low-risk mama, consider an out-of-hospital birth.  There are home birth midwives and free-standing birth centers (not connected to a hospital) that offer a safe, natural alternative to the hospital setting.

Choose a care provider that is not only supportive of natural childbirth, but is also an advocate of it. Many women who want an un-intervened and unmedicated labor and birth end up hooked up to IVs & monitors. Ultimately they may end up with an epidural, and maybe a cesarean section, against their original plans or desires.  Many times this is because the care provider views the birthing process and the woman herself as something that needs to be managed and fixed.

• * Find a provider that has an innate belief in the power and humanity of birth. Research and ask your prospective provider for their cesarean rate, how often they induce labor and when they consider inductions of labor. Because out-of-hospital midwives do not carry the medications and devices that lead to intervention, you will find they will have a much lower rate of cesarean and inductions.
• * Another way of learning about a potential provider is to ask around in the community of like-minded women and hear their thoughts. Word of mouth can be a good indicator.  For example, if I am asked about a particular doctor who has a high intervention and cesarean rate, I might say, “She is a very good surgeon.”

Consider a Doula: A doula, also known as a labor coach, is a non-medical person who assists a woman before, during, or after childbirth, by providing information, physical assistance, and emotional support for both the laboring woman and her family.

• * In the hospital setting, a doula is an important advocate and buffer for you as you labor and birth.  They can help you understand what is happening, translate doctor-ese and keep the intention of your natural birth present in the room.

• * Doula support has been shown in studies to lower cesarean risk, shorten labor, and reduce the need for medications and medical procedures that carry risks, including forceps and vacuum extraction.
• * Often doulas will labor at home with you before you head in to the hospital. You will want to establish care with a doula before you go into labor, and preferably in your second trimester.

Keep it positive: It is completely natural to have fears and doubts about your ability to cope with labor and birth.  The more you feed your spirit and brain with positive stories and images of birth and yourself, the more reassured you will be.

• * Find some great natural birth videos online.
• * Draw boundaries around what you want to hear or see.  Most people are well-meaning when they begin sharing their harrowing stories of their own labor and childbirth, and when they begin to share, you can always say, “I am choosing to focus on the positive and would love to hear about the best parts of your labor and birth.” You can also choose to gently redirect the conversation.  This is your journey and all pregnancies and births are different even from your own family members.
• * Surround yourself in pregnancy and labor with your “biggest fans.”  These are people who love you and share your desires and respect for natural labor and know you can do it. Do not entertain the naysayers, real or imagined.
• * Avoid “reality” television shows that condense a woman’s birthing experience to a 30 minute segment. There is little reality to these poisonous shows outside of the egregious amount of labors ending in cesarean section.  In the United States, the cesarean rate is hovering between 33% & 36%. While the shows can be an accurate portrayal of massive intervention, they usually do not reflect the positive images you need to create the natural birth experience you are looking for.

Once labor begins, and your support location and team is in place, the rest should not only be desired, but expected so that the birth can remain unmedicated and natural.  Check out the second half of our Preparing for Natural Childbirth series & find 6 Tips to prepare you for the experience of unmedicated labor and the natural birth of your new baby.

Tips for Relaxation During Labor and Birth

1.     Patterned breathing, i.e. 4 count in and 4 count out 

2.    Touch…what relaxes you and what does not…this could change several times during labor. 
 

      3.     Movement…swaying, rocking, “dancing”, squatting, lunging, walking

 

      4.  Create a relaxing environment using things from home like your own clothing, pillows, blanket and        pictures.   Lower the lighting and use relaxing music.  Make a play list of all your favorite music.  Your preference may change throughout labor and birth.

      5.  Aromatherapy…use your favorites and be sure to try these out before you begin labor.  Lavender, chamomile, citrus are a few that work well. 

      6.  Visualization…practice beforehand with your partner.  Try things like riding a wave in the ocean or going down through a cool cave.  You can use the aromatherapy to help in this. 

 

      7.   Sit in a warm tub.  The water provides soothing comfort as well as a respite from so much gravity.

      8.   Create a birth plan.  This gives you the best chance of having the birth experience you desire.

      9.    Be present.  Don’t go to “what ifs”, “what was”, or “what will be”, be in the moment.

    10.  Trust your body and “tune in”.       Practice relaxing all your parts, one at a time, as you breathe.  Especially focus on face and shoulders.  Don’t waist energy on tensing all those muscles.  The more tense you are, the more pain.  An open, relaxed mouth equals an open cervix. 

 

    12.   Partner with a doula. 

doulawise

Birth and Postpartum Doula Services

Carolyn Butler

303-523-6743

www.doulawise.com

doulawise@gmail.com

Postpartum Doulas and the Prevention of Postpartum Depression

Postpartum Doulas and the Prevention of Postpartum Depression

by Lynn Orlowski

Postpartum Doulas have been tasked with trying to alleviate and reduce the risk of our clients getting Postpartum Depression.  Even though it is inevitable in some cases, the services, education, and help we provide, can in most instances prevent or even reverse the effects of Postpartum Depression.  We as Doulas step in and help the mothers become less overwhelmed. Doulas assist in making sure the mothers eat right, get their much needed rest, are staying hydrated, and also lend emotional support.  Doulas are non-judgmental advocates working for the mothers to help them to obtain some sort of balance and sense of calmness so they do not feel anxious and to lessen the load of their new motherhood

Swaddling Your Baby: 

Why, When and How

by Patience Bleskan

Why

Young infants do not have control of their arms and legs move. Every movement is a reflex based on outside environment or the internal nervous system. If a babies arms and legs are moving franticly it will cause her respiration to increase. Increased respiration leads to increase heart rate. Fast breathing and heart rate causes the nervous system to switch into flight or fight. A baby in a state of stress cries help.

Swaddling keeps your baby’s reflexive movements smaller, helping to avoid a state of stress.

When

Your baby does not need to be swaddled all the time. A baby who’s movements are slow, fluid and are close to the body is a baby happily moving his body. An infant with wide open hands, rigid arms and legs, and jerky movements, is a baby in distress. Swaddling will help this baby to calm his nervous system. During sleep the reflexive moments can cause a baby to wake or make it more difficult to fall asleep. Once your baby is asleep she may break out of her swaddle. As long as she is maintaining sleep there is no need to re-swaddle.

How